I don’t know how to start this, but I’m just going to paste in some thoughts I emailed myself from this weekend at Coachella 2016. EGO…
This is my outfit; I’m at Coachella, look at me! WOOF, I don’t want to participate in this type of behavior. If you don’t post what you are doing on social media, is the experience still real? OR is only real when validated by social media? It is as if experiencing something it is not enough, we need documentation. But is this way of approaching an experience sustainable? I don’t think so, but why do I feel this self-inflicted pressure to participate. You don’t care, and I don’t mean that in a mean way I just mean who the fuck cares about another posed photo in front of the Ferris wheel at Coachella? I don’t! Come on, how unoriginal. Copycat versions of other copycat images and so it goes… This approach of creating a persona that everyone likes is not a path to success and is essentially creating cardboard versions our society and ourselves. Flat and they all end up looking the same. I feel like everyone is desperately trying to be important. The groups of girl squads playing too cool to smile back at you, hoping to convince you that maybe, they are someone important. But when everyone, including their boyfriends are rocking metallic flashtats, it’s not unique or original. We all want to be popular but if we keep inflating our ego with Instagram posts, what happens when the all the hot air is gone? There is nothing substantial behind it. How can we create more substance & cultivate more authenticity– not only in fashion but also in life.
I made friends with a well-known fashion blogger that is high up on the popularity index. We had such an interesting conversation and it was so refreshing because she slammed the direction the industry is going and explained personal challenges she experience(d)/(s) with speaking her true voice. She gave me a few tips but she also issued a few warnings that I feel are so worth sharing. Here is my spin on it: Don’t try an emulate someone you like— be your true fucking self. Do not go in debt, if you can’t afford it, don’t buy it. Do not compromise your integrity, ever. So many people work with shitty brands to make a quick buck. This is an extension of yourself and this is your reality that you need to live in. Work in harmony with that reality.
My response to my experience at Coachella is that I need do the opposite of everyone/everything I saw. I’m not sure how exactly that translates but my current approach isn’t fulfilling and I want to add value. I want you to lean in. I want to meet your true authentic self. I want to color in the same coloring book as you… How do you feel about this? Could it be an amazing work of art? I don’t want to be another filtered person taking up micro moments BC I THINK THAT I should post something, BECAUSE I want to be relevant and I want you to like me. What a waste of time and energy if it is solely just focused on my ego and vanity. The problem with focusing solely on vanity, on what makes us look good or feel important is that we aren’t actually accomplishing anything. All it is doing is inflating a false ego.
Why am I wasting energy on things that are not productive, chasing fame, rather than creating something real? I can barely look like I washed my hair 0n a day-to-day basis… (BC I don’t) My uniform is rotating HM yoga pants and a white cotton tee. I look like a sleepy asshole most of the time. But I so appreciate an outfit with good vibes and I want to create more of that. Can I find a balance? Yes, I think I can as long as I actively ask myself these hard questions… Why are you doing this? What is your goal? Are you inspiring creativity? Are you being genuine? Being more self aware has helped me be more confident in my voice– and I think my voice gets stronger each day. One of my best friends gave me the very best compliment when we were discussing these thoughts, she said “Ange, I think you are 100% you on social media, why do you feel so much guilt for being authentic?” Well, I think I feel like that by posting I’m actively chasing fame by participating? And then I feel weird because that isn’t my intent and than I question everything? IDK! I can’t get off this topic, and spin offs of this conversation– I know, but I don’t think I should. I just want to engage with a community of creatives, story telling seekers, life passion moving inspiring people. These wishes are not generic. We are all so wonderfully unique but why are we trying to look like each other? Be each other? The mindset; for you to win, I have to loose IS NOT REALITY. We can lift each other up and both grow as people. Purposeful people, with a mission- let me hear your story! Why are you, you?
I know this is sort of a clusterfuck of different thought-streams but I couldn’t help being overwhelmed when I tapped into the pulse. There were over one hundred and fifty thousand people at Coachella. Imagine the sea of faces– all vaguely familiar. Moral of the story: Don’t iron out your character.